Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
