ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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