Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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