i just had sex bonerless
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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