who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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