Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
