the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
