he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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