Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
