I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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