Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
