We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
