Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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