ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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