Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
