I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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