shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
there was a trapeze. enough said
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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