I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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