Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
