he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.