Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
