She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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