Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
