4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
