This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
