She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
