real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We need to get me chipped asap
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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