I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
