I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So squirting runs in the family.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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