Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
