you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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