I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
