I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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