i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
