Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
