i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it hurts more in the daytime
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
