OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
