too bad you live with your parents still
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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