dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
