He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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