I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
