let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
