I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
