i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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