I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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