You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
