i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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