Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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