I'm really into asian looking animals
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize