i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
