return my video game
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He better not be in your backpack
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
