Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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