Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
