after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
