my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize