what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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