talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just had sex bonerless
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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