Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
