well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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