I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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