it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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