Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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