This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
