Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Less talking, more tequila
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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