Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
