Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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